From “Get a Job”

This is a monologue from a play I’m working on:

I’m a people person. I like people. I do. I just really like people. All kinds of people. I get along…well…with all kinds of people. One minute I’m talking to this kind of person, next minute I’m talking to that kind of person. I just like them all. I find them interesting. I mean. You know, we have our differences, but that’s what makes the world go round, right? If we were all the same, that would be boring. And then, who knows, maybe I wouldn’t be a people person! I mean it would be boring to talk with people like me all the time, or what if we were all the same and we were all the kind of person- people- that doesn’t like people! Ha! That could be a movie, right?

But seriously, sometimes people have quirks, right? I like quirks! I feel that these are the things that make people individual and unique. Sometimes I might not like the quirk, but I wouldn’t say so- and I would definitely …not…judge. No way. Because that’s not me. When someone has a quirky quirk that I don’t like, I simply laugh. Not at them, but with them. Like I might say, You are so funny! Or That is so like you, Janine! And even if it is a really annoying or even offensive quirk, I would never… judge. No, I see people’s individual qualities as, you know, things they do. But not AS them. No, it’s like a thing they wear- not the whole person, you know. And people do change their clothes. So I might say Ha Ha Ha, Tom! Or if it’s really offensive, I might say, How Rude, Tom! But I would say it with a smile, because ultimately, I am a people person and I’m not going to push someone away just because they do something really annoying or quirky or rude or even offensive. I’m just going to keep things as friendly as possible.

Not that I’m a walkover, because I’m not. Or a push-over or whatever. Obviously if someone does something down right dangerous towards them self or someone else or to me even I say NO. I say Shut Up or That is So Wrong or Stop It Right Now Or Else. I’m a people person totally, but I’m not a goddamn bath rug either.

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